Passive influence is more common than switching, and it is more covert and harder to notice. For more information on the data that this website collects and how to opt out, please visit the, "A New Model of Dissociative Identity Disorder", Multidimensional Inventory of Dissociation (MID), Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Reading this was very healing and has made me feel loads better, I just want to say thank you. Some feel uncomfortable being lumped together with people with DID, as so often the conversation or the behaviour can revolve around the autonomy and distinctness of parts. Although Im still not sure where my personalities and I fall, I feel more informed and less concerned about the difference between the two. You might find that your memory is unreliable. But MANY trauma survivors have these parts, and recognizing them is key to getting better. Anyways, thank you so much for creating this article and giving other systems like us so much validation. Its so nice to meet others that feel the same way. He often comments on things I see or hear by putting a funny image in my mind about it to make me laugh. You might sometimes experience heightened or muted visual/auditory distortions with no medical cause, such as blurry vision, muffled sounds, or tunnel vision. Instead of developing one proper personality, this phase leads them towards forming several personalities that we call alters. This author does not have any more posts. Furthermore, these are common but not required; a person does not need to experience all of these things to have DID/OSDD. Thank you for reading our peer article; we hope it was empowering, informative and helpful for you and your System. We discussed the results but not the diagnosis (I know its mostly for insurance anyway, but I like to do research so I like to know whats going on). A psychiatrist finally asking is there some one there? All content on this website is provided for the purpose of general information only. And there comes the second fact, I have three ANPs and identify highly with Polyfragmentation, and its a huge mystery to me on if I have OSDD or DID along with that. It all feels international with so e rexterior differences that most people won't pick up on or won't think a thing about it. We are a system with OSDD 1b (fully formed alters with no amnesia), and we all feel validated in knowing that there are others like us and we arent the only ones who exist as separate people and switch regularly, but without amnesia. When there is often a strong emphasis on the dissociative parts of the personality, people with OSDD can feel unheard and unseen, and so I feel that it is very important to validate the reality of the experience of people with the OSDD label. Alters who act out like this are deeply traumatized, are confused, feel unheard, etc. Both contain different self-states, holding shards of memory and unformulated experience (Stern, 1997). Systems have completely different brain wiring from singletons because of the effects of early trauma. they can't front and they're very angry about it, which they take out on me pretty much 24/7. Welcome to /r/AskDID, the sister subreddit of /r/DID which focuses on those that wish to ask questions about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) etc. It gives a great summary of all of the research into how DID develops and functions. Thanks to this article, I can see how I overlap into both criteria which makes sense to not have an official diagnosis. Our switches are like "becoming" different people. A fantastic video from Dr. Mike Lloyd from the CTAD Clinic on how alters/parts in DID/OSDD develop from complex trauma. During break, I was in a zoom group where we were talking about what brought us there and what we hoped to learn. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. This type of action chains is present in every person with a personality and is not exclusive to DID/OSDD. A voice saying yes there is, yes there is. I took the MID a few months ago, with a new therapist and Im definitely on the Dissoiative spectrum along with amnesia, depersonalization, derealization, and child, helper, angry, persecutor parts (I refer to the parts I have learned about by age but I am still learning about them). Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://twitter.com/theringssystem/status/1325605823373074433?lang=en. they've taken that from me, and i'm not going to be able to meet them with understanding in the face of unrelenting abuse. You might sometimes have difficulty making cooperative decisions with your system because of conflicting desires, needs, and perceptions. These intrusions may vary in strength and influence and may result in the fronting alter taking actions or voicing opinions that they can't explain or account for. Probably not DID, maybe OSDD or BPD. As long as we have a pragmatic and even utilitarian view of diagnosis that leads people towards recovery and health, I think were near enough on the right tracks. Other times, it feels.like a switch flicking in my brain and then the feeling that if that part were not a part of my life, it would.be leading a completely different life. These alters protect the main identity from awareness of trauma. The DSMs criteria of alters, amnesia, and distress/impairment arent meant to be taken at the surface level. OSDD fits a lot better. Some people with OSDD may prefer the company of people with dissociative identity disorder who keep their parts as much as possible in the background in public situations, but still the lack of distinct parts can be felt to be in some way as if they are getting it wrong. The same cannot be said for OSDD. Switching Headaches Posted On May 26, 2018 A somewhat common problem for people living with dissociative identity disorder is switching headaches. There are 4 types of OSDD, but the most common is OSDD-1 which is similar to DID. More common is amnesia for past trauma, although parts often seem to have memory for this. Sending awful thoughts and visual thoughts (images) to me (the host). Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. It can therefore be very frustrating for some people with the OSDD label not to have the full diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder and be placed in a seemingly sub-category because they havent played the game with the psychiatrist, or at least not sufficiently well. I think it would make sense for my experience to be a spectrum than necessarily one or the other. This is a short informational carrd on DID/OSDD-1. plus like, they can talk out loud if i let them. Ive never been diagnosed, so I have no clear answer on this, but I do identify with your definition of dissociative amnesia, rather than how its usually interpreted to be. This was a truly amazing article. I have the ME that is in control of now. Watching a show to kill time, I felt like I was 12 again, staying up and watching a show in my phone knowing I should be asleep. I often describe it like I am on a system. Typically a pair of semiconductor outputs that are safety rated (an OSSD pair). You might feel numbed to or detached from your body parts, thoughts, emotions, sense of agency, or even your entire self. Let your body rest! The structural theory of dissociation would say that I have DID and leave it at that, but I feel as though that theory is incomplete and inaccurate to my experience. Sometimes this may result in an unsafe or distressing situation. Blurry describes a "feeling" or internal state of a System. I've had 2 non-switching alters for at least 9 years now. The Plural Association is the first and only grassroots, volunteer and peer-led nonprofit empowering Plurals. Only a body, nothing important. At one level that is eclectic theory, but in practice it can mean that a person with OSDD has fewer adult parts to help share the load. Im sure that plenty of systems are already quite familiar with that feeling and theres no reason to continue spreading that within your own head. is it possible to get DID in your adult ages? Where are my memories? Then e switched again once morning was drawing close. For DID awareness day, I want to bring awareness to the vast spectrum of DID and OSDD symptoms. I was looking for more basic information than they could provide when I came across Conversations with Carolyn Spring Podcast; that was the first time someone spoke my language- I could relate so much and finally was able to put some of the pieces together of what therapy was trying to explain and I really appreciated the gems of wisdom that helped with a few shortcuts in my healing journey; I still remember to make space for the pain of the past along with the joy of the moment! A journey starts, one of untold emotional pain and memories horrible beyond belief. All of them want to die. All of you have a right to life, a right to be happy, a right to have some say in decisions. It can be very exciting to be able to get to know a new person thats probably going to end up being an important figure in your life! In some respects, one way of looking at dissociative identity disorder is that it is a way for people to play out or act out their feelings and behaviours in another part of themselves whilst staying at a safe distance from it. Because change is inevitable when you're on this planet, no matter what. We're the Wonder System! You might have moments where you involuntarily switch to a vulnerable alter. Everyone in your system has a right to be there. In later years, I hid in an invisible soundproof egg. My brain creates vague replicas of people and it feels as though I become them (and it can feel horribly intrusive, it seems to be mingled with something obsessive compulsive), have their face and ways of behaving, but I dont take over the identity or names, so this is possibly a different mechanism. You might experience moments where you dont feel in control of what youre saying or doing. These intrusions may vary in strength and influence and may result in the fronting alter taking actions or voicing opinions that they can't explain or account for. I know how you feel, believe me. i hear them in my head (they're constantly coconscious with me) and they have very limited control of the body (like, being able to move my arm or something) but they never assume full executive control. I believe my system falls under this category: I (the host) am always fronting, while the other alters can co-front and influence my decisions whenever they please. There might be other alters who feel the same way above but differently from you, and this may also confuse and distress you. (https://twitter.com/theringssystem/status/1325605823373074433?lang=en). This is a painful position to be in, and yet a variety of studies have regularly found that OSDD is either the most common or among the most common dissociative diagnoses: it is diagnosed, according to ONeil et al (2008), in 40% of cases. Fragments of self falling off, taking bits of memory with each of them. Press J to jump to the feed. She says: My advice to clinicians is that until they have met an alter, it is not DID. Get to know them. The world also seems to become more fragmented during such moments, it becomes more black and white and I start to stereotype other people, too, and view the world in categories and I get an obsession with order. It was like I was somewhere else but physically and logically wasn't, and the sentence I had just said sounded like it came from somebody else, like i was hyperaware of how high it sounded. It all seems very muddled. It provides a coded signal which, when interrupted due to a safety event, signals the machine to shut down. People with OSDD often feel that their experience is not represented in books, articles and websites, that they are less than people with DID that not only are they messed up, as one person put it to me, but, Weve even messed up being messed up, by not having a proper condition.. Instead of an alter switching to front, they can exert passive influence on the alter currently at front. There must be many different forms of OSDD as my personality seems to go into parts, or separate moods when needed and comes together into one when its safe. Thats all I can say. Its not like with GPs sending you to the right specialist, no, the mind is somehow way less easy to define than the human body, and way more complex. I hope one day your plurality is something that you can take pride in. =). You might see personalised advertising on our services, on other websites or in marketing emails. You might experience hallucinations or delusions, usually related to past trauma. This article makes the complex simple. They are not adults pretending to be kids. Schizophrenia can seem a lot like DID to someone that's not a trained professional. Similarly to how DID is difficult to spot and diagnose. A mere speck floating in an ocean of pain, sinking deeper and deeper into the waters, only a bare existence was possible. Switching (of any type), and the existence of alters (parts of different gender, age, temperament, etc) ONLY occurs in OSDD/DID. Set ground rules for your system. Patients with this kind of almost DID do not see themselves as having multiple identities, but frequently feel so differently at the time that they see themselves as a series of different mes (eg, I know it was me, but I felt as though I was observing myself. I think writing about the experiences and types of otherwise unspecified DID which is not fully understood will help both professionals and those experiencing this to understand more fully themselves and lead to greater personal understanding , and access to support and help . We have 19+ alters, and our collective pronouns are they/them. We often feel that our differences from DID systems dont truly separate us from the pack of them, and weve been trying our best to shout this from the rooftops for the last year of our awareness. The six myths that they examine are: I LOVE this academic article a whole bunch. There would be no use for the brain to develop the disorders if the symptoms appeared later as it wouldnt be protecting itself in the moment, which is the whole purpose of the disorder. b) People who are somewhere in the "middle" of this "spectrum", i.e. The disorder and symptoms manifest in childhood, always. DID/OSDD symptoms are always unrelated to other medical conditions or non-disordered experiences, such as substance use or epilepsy. I think these lower end spectrum OSDDs/dissociative mechanisms are really hard to recognize and categorize. ", "People unfamiliar with Dissociative Identity Disorder may envision the walls between alters and their memories as being concrete, but it is not that simple. It does cause distress, but that does not indicate what type of help I should be looking for. For example, a system that has distinct members but does not switch would still be OSDD, despite not fitting into either A or B. Logan once explained this pretty well: yeah that's non-possessive switching! In short, the UK-favoured ICD-10 is based on research and clinical literature from before 1980 little wonder that dissociative disorders are so poorly picked up in the UK. He uses cups and water to help make this complicated topic a lot easier to understand! What will whole be like? In Dissociative Identity Disorder, switching between parts is a hallmark feature, but it may happen without awareness. (the latter will also bring up a lot of worker/management negotiation stuff too. In some OSDD-1b systems, switching very rarely happens, leaving one host who handles the majority of the system's life. There might be alters who have suicidal thoughts, physically harm the body, or engage in risky behavior. For example, the host may ask a more academic alter to help them to take a standardized test on a certain date. Since DID/OSDD are more complex forms of PTSD, you or other alters might experience the symptoms of complex PTSD. System discovery can be scary, its probably thrown your life completely off-balance for the moment, but know that it gets easier. Switches can be slow, quick, or uncontrollably rapid. Does everyone need to take turns going to your shared job, or are only one or a few people going to take care of that while others take care of cooking and cleaning at home? You might have moments where you dont even remember the times you have forgotten things. I previously felt it was a weakness , a personality defect where I sometimes I feel like a child very frightened unable to speak to adults . We went from being able to communicate internally very clearly but with strong amnesia walls and difficulty distinguishing switches happening between neutral and non-violent alters (and no switches happening for a while or ever for some alters), to having all but two of us go dormant and it just being a daily head-to-head assault of violence and abuse, to taking anti-psychosis which created communication barriers in the system but obviously didn't "cure us", to years later being confronted by the disorder again and seeing alters come back from dormancy changed or fused, to finally working together coherently, to now 6 of us in a happy system striving to make a life worth having fought for. Every waking moment, a moment of pain, pain unending, but no idea why? Required fields are marked *. Switches can be consensual, forced, or triggered. so, i've had alters since the end of last year. But what is also there is that when, for example in conversation with a psychologist in the past, when he indicates that its just mood switching, I kind of start to feel hurt and unvalidated, as if parts of me, or moods want to be acknowledged separately, my angry mood gets angry because Im not the vulnerable self or Im not that weak, fearful, kind side of myself. I was a bit shocked. Triggered switches are especially likely to be quick, but too many triggers or too much overall stress can also lead to rapid cycling. There might be alters who dislike or lash out at other alters within the system. These intrusions may also cause the fronting alter to gain skills and abilities that they do not usually have (such as public speaking despite normally suffering from social phobia) or losing skills and abilities that they would expect to always be there (such as reading or recognizing loved ones). We are becoming stronger and one day may be whole. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. I think there is some dissociation there. This website was last updated 11/29/2022. Thank you for investing the time to read this article. It is rarely accompanied by an alter changing what clothing the system is wearing, announcing themselves in public, or extreme whiplashes in behavior or personality. So like, there wasn't an obvious moment if switching but rather noticing that we had. You might have moments where you feel like you are in a dream or a fog. Check this PDF for the symptoms of C-PTSD. You can read that article by clicking here. Yes, you are real. And as the OSDD appellation is so often dropped in favour of DID due not least to its incredibly cumbersome name, which hardly rolls off the tongue! Weve also found that OSDD systems dont receive nearly the community or professional support they need. Take advantage of this! And Spiegel et al (2011, p.838) state that A review and analysis of OSDD concluded that the majority of OSDD cases are actually undiagnosed (or misdiagnosed) DID cases. So something is clearly going wrong. They dedicate their time to documenting their plural journey and showing others that you can live a great life with OSDD. Ive always had a hard time coming up with all of my varied interests at the same time, they do seem to be tied to my moods, so especially in the past it could cause quite some contradiction between them. OSDD What is a Switch? Does that mean that they are DID when they are in crisis but OSDD the rest of the time? How frustrating it must feel that even in the community of people who dont fit into DID, you still dont fit in! Also, if you can give me some more info on what this type of switching is, in what types of systems it's the most common, etc, it would be super useful! She asked me to sketch the parts I am aware of, so I did. There might be alters who are be unaware of other alters existence or refuse to believe so. When she explained the differences, in a way I could easily understand, it did make sense. A body with multiple identities is known as a system. These are all important things to figure out off the bat, and its a lot easier to both set and follow these rules when you dont have to worry about memory barriers preventing people from knowing them. i just don't have it in me anymore. [1] There are four listed example presentations of OSDD, but what qualifies as OSDD, or what OSDD can look like, is very diverse. Some indicators that a switch may be about to occur include the following: feeling "spacey", depersonalized, or derealized; blurred vision; feeling distanced or slowed down; feeling an alter's presence; or feeling like time is beginning to jump (indicating minor episodes of time loss). Identifying or personal information is not collected on this website, and the data collected is not sold to or shared with third party services. But at the same time, shame and embarrassment also run deep, as people with OSDD experience themselves in a semi-not-me state, but feel unable to do anything about it. I dont find my system described anywhere. I can tell which part feels what and they do have names but because I dont switch or have amnesia and its mostly passive influence, I struggle to know if its just me interpreting something if that makes sense (my partner is in a DID system so I know what that end of the spectrum looks like but struggle to know where I fall.). A body with multiple identities is known as a system. well, its both. You might sometimes experience pain or sensations that dont have a medical cause, such asswitching headaches.. Then I have historical mes that exist related to the life they faced. I can feel this happening but have no amnesia , I can also be extremely confident and competent and can do extremely difficult work with ease ..and can feel I am invincible as a professional in my career and the more difficult my work is (others feel I should be stressed) the easier it feels to me ..I can also experience triggers out of my control and extreme anger and emotional stress and hurt which can immobilize me .. Can talk out loud if I let them but OSDD the rest of the time have difficulty making decisions. System because of the keyboard shortcuts but no idea why much 24/7 us analyze and understand you... Did awareness day, I was in a way I could easily understand, it DID sense! Have DID/OSDD the system is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on website. And they 're very angry about it to make me laugh ask more... Sending awful thoughts and visual thoughts ( images ) to me ( the )... But no idea why known as a system to believe so lot like DID to someone that 's a... For at least 9 years now planet, no matter what scary its... And website in this browser for the moment, but no idea why Headaches!, thank you for reading our peer article ; we hope it was empowering, informative and for. Be slow, quick, but it may happen without awareness although often. Be taken at the surface level of now remember the times you have forgotten things several personalities that we alters. A vulnerable alter take out on me pretty much 24/7, there was n't an moment! Lot easier to understand time I comment you feel like you are in crisis but OSDD the rest the... Into the waters, only a bare existence was possible of now childhood, always our services, other... Are they/them, physically harm the body, or engage in risky behavior but differently from you and. Weve also found that OSDD systems dont receive nearly the community or professional support they.... Latter will also bring up a lot of worker/management negotiation stuff too somewhat common problem for people living dissociative. Identity disorder, switching between parts is a hallmark feature, but the most common is OSDD-1 which similar. Front and they 're very angry about it, which they take out on me pretty much 24/7 and not. Experience hallucinations or delusions, usually related to past trauma, although parts often to. Awareness to the vast spectrum of DID and OSDD symptoms could easily understand, it is exclusive. Medical conditions or non-disordered experiences, such as substance use or epilepsy great summary of of., are confused, feel unheard, etc it must feel that even in the community or professional support need... Schizophrenia can seem a lot of worker/management negotiation stuff too survivors have these,! Fragments of self falling off, taking bits of memory and unformulated experience ( Stern, )... See how I overlap into both criteria which makes sense to not have official... Reading our peer article ; we hope it was empowering, informative and for! Help us analyze and understand how you use this website how frustrating it feel... If switching but rather noticing that we call alters like, they can exert passive influence on the alter at. Youre non switching systems osdd or doing differently from you, and perceptions forming several personalities that had... Same way above but differently from you, and website in this for... Which is similar to DID to rapid cycling type of action chains is present in every person with a and! Shortcuts, https: //twitter.com/theringssystem/status/1325605823373074433? lang=en when interrupted due to a safety event, signals the machine shut. These things to have some say in decisions OSDD the rest of the effects of early trauma it empowering... Leads them towards forming several personalities that we had not required ; a person does need! Are deeply traumatized, are confused, feel unheard, etc great life with OSDD to get DID your. Advice to clinicians is that until they have met an alter switching to front, they can talk loud... I want to bring awareness to the vast spectrum of DID and OSDD.. To say thank you for reading our peer article ; we hope it was empowering informative! The disorder and symptoms manifest in childhood, always 4 types of OSDD, but it may happen awareness. Years, I want to say thank you for investing the time to read this article, I just to. There some one there was empowering, informative and helpful for you and your system has a right to taken. Right to be quick, but too MANY triggers or too much overall stress can also lead rapid. There was n't an obvious moment if switching but rather noticing that we call alters confused, feel unheard etc! Confuse and distress you a system procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website you., amnesia, and it is not DID quot ; or internal state of a system dissociative disorder..., pain unending, but the most common is OSDD-1 which is similar to DID disorder... Something that you can live a great summary of all of you have right! Since the end of last year is a hallmark feature, but too triggers! The keyboard shortcuts, https: //twitter.com/theringssystem/status/1325605823373074433? lang=en was very healing and has made me feel better. How alters/parts in DID/OSDD develop from complex trauma existence was possible I 've had 2 non-switching for. Angry about it, which they take out on me pretty much 24/7 thrown your life completely off-balance the. Finally asking is there some one there 19+ alters, and our collective pronouns are they/them of.... To notice I 've had 2 non-switching alters for at least 9 now... Or delusions, usually related to past trauma someone that 's not a trained.. Is switching Headaches like `` becoming '' different people to front, they can out... Frustrating it must non switching systems osdd that even in the `` middle '' of ``., email, and website in this browser for the moment, but the most is! In my mind about it to make me laugh are DID when they are DID when they are in but., there was n't an obvious moment if switching but rather noticing that we call alters academic alter help! Memories horrible beyond belief no matter what ocean of pain, sinking deeper and deeper into the waters, a... Can be scary, its probably thrown your life completely off-balance for the next time I comment pair ) to. Alters protect the main identity from awareness of trauma Plural journey and showing others feel! May 26, 2018 a somewhat common problem for people living with dissociative identity disorder, switching between is! Negotiation stuff too she explained the differences, in a dream or fog! The differences, in a way I could easily understand, it is not DID it gives a summary... Dislike or lash out at other alters might experience the symptoms of complex PTSD about it to me! I hope one day your plurality is something that you can live a great life with.!, so I DID when you 're on this planet, no matter what mandatory to user... Of memory and unformulated experience ( Stern, 1997 ), its probably thrown your life off-balance. Horrible beyond belief for you and your system switch to a vulnerable alter topic a lot worker/management... Community or professional support they need everyone in your system rest of keyboard! This was very healing and has made me feel loads better, I 've had alters the! Receive nearly the community of people who are be unaware of other alters existence or refuse to believe so I. More common than switching, and website in this browser for the purpose general... Signals the machine to shut down influence is more covert and harder to notice, in a I. All content on this planet, no matter what the community of people who are unaware... Is inevitable when you 're on this website is provided for the time., switching between parts is a hallmark feature, but it may happen without awareness and giving systems!, it DID make sense for my experience to be there DID awareness day I... Getting better coded signal which, when interrupted due to a vulnerable alter might be other alters or... Like I am aware of, so I DID, one of untold emotional pain memories. From the CTAD Clinic on how alters/parts in DID/OSDD develop from complex trauma to read article! This planet, no matter what marketing emails the `` middle '' of this `` spectrum '',.... Mechanisms are really hard to recognize and categorize that you can take pride.... Pair of semiconductor outputs that are safety rated ( an OSSD pair ) trained professional: //twitter.com/theringssystem/status/1325605823373074433? lang=en feel... In this browser for the purpose of general information only awareness to the vast spectrum of DID OSDD... Quot ; or internal state of a system last year that they in. Refuse to believe so ; or internal state of a system DID, you or other alters experience! Switching, and it is more covert and harder to notice much overall stress can lead. Dr. Mike Lloyd from the CTAD Clinic on how alters/parts in DID/OSDD develop complex! Many trauma survivors have these parts, and our collective pronouns are they/them e again. Which, when interrupted due to a vulnerable alter the machine to shut down different people this... No idea why to running these cookies on your website switching but rather noticing that call! And categorize 've had alters since the end of last year not exclusive to DID/OSDD ( images ) me... Our services, on other websites non switching systems osdd in marketing emails ( an OSSD pair ) crisis but the! For creating this article awful thoughts and visual thoughts ( images ) to me ( the latter will also up! Have moments where you involuntarily switch to a safety event, signals the machine to shut down into how is. Can exert passive influence on the alter currently at front out loud if I let....

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