Banter helps you to have a reality check where you can ask yourself whether this man is truly attentive and attuned to you, or does he have his own ulterior motives? At some point, youre going to want to make things a little more serious and really get to know her as a person. 1. It shouldnt be insulting or coarse. Along with banter, do you know how to start a conversation, gracefully end it, avoid awkward silences, and, most importantly, make an impact? Either way, don't focus on becoming less sensitive. Instead of your firstborn, just promise me that you WILL practice what you learn. The playful bantering among friends that one couple finds amusing is uncomfortable and threatening to another couple. We always want to end things on a high note and banter is no exception. 4 Forget Me Not. Not to mention, when you are securely attached, you have no problem with being attuned to others and being present with bantering. You can find out with our quick and easy quiz. At the time, I was very curious. If this is the case, then simply state that you no longer find it fun, that you find the comments. I dont have the curves to wear something like that., Your house looks so clean today. What was your first kiss like? The best place for you to start becoming a bantering goddess is to sign up to our free High Value Banter class. Very often I get the question from women asking me how they should write banter when it comes to online dating. I tell all the cute girls to get Mohawks. If she says Uh, no when you ask if you saved her a seat, start inspecting the seat and say Are you sure? But it could also be very exciting, and not to mention, liberating. 7 Quick Tips for Playful and Witty Conversations. (That would never happen with a 4 year old who is insecurely attached as they would typically shy away from this challenge.). Teasing and bullying are different. On the other hand, if you were to say the exact words with a serious low tone, stiff posture, and arms crossed, youd probably confuse your friend or date and make it seem like you dont want to see them. He likes exchanging quick quips and playful banter with the object of his affection. We dont want to be sarcastic for the sake of being sarcastic. The whole point of banter is to let loose, right? Best of all, this is a simple skill that basically any man can learn with a bit of practice. Fortunately, you dont need to be a comedian to come up with witty responses. The girl could escalate or come back with something negative and not too offensive), Elise: What is the deal with you and the dull shades of blue? What is the temperature? If it is something that is temporary, such as a black eye or someone uncharacteristically dressed in a suit, then fire away. Use a friendly delivery. While its probably not best to flirt with people who are in relationships, the example serves to show how teasing can build tension. QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? Approach this journey with a growth mindset. Getting her to laugh is how we get her to relax and getting her to relax is how we have her thinking that youre the best guy shes met all night. (. First, its important to have a big smile. Sarcasm in itself carries the connotation and intent to mock or convey contempt. Not every person will like you or laugh at your banter, and thats OK. Fixate on a random object that catches your eye, and then quickly jot down all the possible things it reminds you of. As an adult, if you dont feel like banter comes naturally, thats OK. Its not your fault. When a large portion of your daily energy is spent on anxiety, you have less energy available for everything else that is important, such as attuning to others, bantering and feeling what others feel. Don't mock people for their appearance. As you can tell, Conans initial self-deprecating jokes allow Andy to jump in with witty sarcasm about how Conan would make a pretty girl. Ever since we ran the first High Value Banter class back a couple of years ago, our fans and followers have been fascinated with this concept of bantering and learning how to banter with a guy. Its metaphorically poking fun at someone in order to establish playful rapport rather than an attempt to hurt someone. Join the game. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. And when a guy is scared of saying something really awkward, he'll use prolonged eye contact. In other words, you need to have some levels of playfulness in order for any emotional attraction to be created and felt. In new relationships or polite relationships (think colleagues, neighbors, and similar relationships), banter should focus on the external: the work you , your surroundings, or experiences you have both been a part of. How To Banter With A Guy In Online Dating, But What If Banter Feels Unnatural And Childish, If Playful Banter Feels Unnatural To You, Heres What You Can Do, Heres What To Expect When You Use High Value Banter. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Similarly, there are many ways and styles to banter, and Im sure youll find your own unique twists. My definition of banter is the verbal or nonverbal action of stimulating and eliciting the playfulness inside of others. When you dwell too much in your thoughts during a conversation, you may feel too anxious to say anything witty. For example, sometimes teasing our partner about their faults . Creates romantic tension. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. The official dictionary definition of banter is the exchange of remarks in a good-humoured teasing way. The moment you feel it, go for it. This is how men show that they care. You can infuse a little bit of sarcasm into your responses to break the ice and subtly tease someone about asking obvious questions: Jessica: No, not at all (sarcastic smile). Example 1. So she decided to try this example we gave her. Something general and open ended works best. They just got it. Know what I like about your profile? There's a lot of information available today about bullying and more awareness than ever of the problem. Studies show that humor makes potential partners seem more sexually desirable, intelligent, and physically attractive. If you have a fear of abandonment, you might want to read that article here. Shell be relaxed and in good spirits a great state to be in for getting to know each other. 10) He playfully teases you. Its because playfulness is the prerequisite for any emotional attraction to exist. If youre not familiar with attachment theory, its a good idea to study up on it. So lets set this straight first. If you can keep that in mind, youll go a long way. 101+ Best Banter Quotes, Lines, And Examples Banter is the foundation of attraction. Not surprisingly, she was very happy with the result. (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!). But obviously, looks arent everything ;)., Jake: Thank you, hopefully, that means youre not going to see me as a piece of meat then?, Lindsey: LOL, Im definitely not. Ill pay for the dry cleaning (again, defensive, but he has nothing else to say here since it was his fault), Elise: No, please dont; its really fine (transactional statement, not part of the overall banter), Elise: Wow (joking at the few dollars in his wallet), David: (smiling) 7 bucks will probably cover it (reintroduces the element of banter by saying something funny and negative about himself related to the situation displaying to the girl he knows how to have fun and make fun of himself. The above example is one of my favourites, because she is very playful and you can see that there was a lot of conversation momentum. Sometimes it's playful and helps kids bond. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born. Watch this old episode of the Tonight Show to see how Andy Richter and Conan OBrien engage in goofy banter, making fun of themselves and teasing each other: Conan: I think on TV I come across as a mean little punk, but in real life, Im actually very large, tell them, very attractive (gestures to Andy to open the stage for Andy to tease him a bit), Andy: Yeah, umm Very attractive I mean, you know, in sort of a (pauses for humor and uses hands to joke) gender-bending sort way, Conan: (laughs at the prod) I like how you struggled for a second, like how can I put this delicately? and then gender-bending! Answer (1 of 3): By definition, banter is playful and intended to be in fun. The key is to think on your feet and come up with quick, clever responses. Smile broadly when you deliver any of these to make it clear that youre kidding around. SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the Worlds Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention). The first group of women intuitively understood banter. That will just take you down the wrong road. In fact, teasing women is my personal favorite way to increase romantic chemistry and later seduce them. 25. #9: Combine teasing with these tips. Interestingly, when you affectionately tease someone, it brings the two of you closer, whilst keeping things fun and humorous. Its about something that is more than just you, something outside of you. Question #1: "So when do I get to meet your other girlfriends?" Said with playfulness and a smile of course. Ruminating over past social situations takes you out of the present moment and makes it difficult to come up with a good comeback. So knowing how to banter with a guy makes you more desirable to men in general. It creates emotional attraction and emotional connection. OTHER WORDS FOR banter 1 badinage, joking, jesting, pleasantry, persiflage. The CBC radio morning show in Montreal, Daybreak, has a lot of Witty Banter between the host, the sports guy, the traffic girl, the weather girl, and several other people who don't seem to have any specific job on the show. The other group of women felt like banter was unnatural and perhaps even childish. You will find a style that suits you. You probably wouldnt tease someone you dont know, but once you delve a little deeper into a friendship, you can build trust with playful commentary. You could fight me about it, but those scrawny little arms won't get you very far. The playful questions below are a great way to get the conversation started: Would you rather be considered sexy or smart? Remember physical attraction is a different matter altogether to emotional attraction. People talked about using playfulness to seduce their partner and make sex enjoyable, and to communicate things more effectively. You're starting to see her dorky side. when youre securely attached, you have a natural resilience, curiosity and less fear in life. Women can spot hesitation like bloodhounds, so to maximize projecting confidence, you need to approach right away. [insert haha emoji here]. Woman: Oh, would you look at that, we matched! What's one question you're dying to ask me? This may look and sound mean or abrasive to most women, but rest assured, it has a very different affect on men who are masculine in their core. It tops all the womens magazine polls about what women want in a man. When teasing is meant to hurt and is done over and over, it can become bullying. The banter by all these sophisticated Manhattanites is also refreshingly tart. The guy who only teases when an opportunity presents itself, will be a joy to talk to. I can call my 4 year old a bum bum head and hed instantly bounce back and call me poopie pants. Once youve gotten your feet wet, youll have no trouble coming up with your own. 2. Take a breath, kick back, and just watch . Its about you. Thats just how it is. So humorous, playful banter examples can be a very effective tool at sparking interest in a woman that youve just met. Women can spot hesitation like bloodhounds, so to maximize projecting confidence, you need to approach right away. Let's play smarter games. In fact, banter is how men create stronger bonds with each other. Banter puts men on the spot and reveals them for who they are, beneath all the sweet talk and facade. banter 1 of 2 noun Definition of banter as in badinage good-natured teasing or exchanging of clever remarks members of the Algonquin Round Table were known for their brilliant and witty banter Synonyms & Similar Words Relevance badinage laugh joke repartee joshing jesting chatter humorousness raillery persiflage humor ribbing backchat chaff wit Some of our favorites are: The point here is to get the conversation going with a little fun. men love to be active and to play. But if its done wrong, it can come across as awkward or even insulting. Number 3: you will get asked out a lot more by men. Let us know any questions and thoughts you may have in the comments below! 130 Flirty Texts to Send a Guy You Like Canva 1. For example, in this speech, former president Barack Obama cracks an unexpected joke about smoked salmon to prove a point about the complexities of different government agencies: Obama: 12 different agencies deal with exports. 2. Whereas true banter carries the intent to tease and be playful. 3. I can tell you with absolute confidence that theres literally no way around this process. He gets very serious or quiet. 1. As opposed to aggressive humor (which makes fun of somebody else), self-deprecating jokes show that you are aware of your shortcomings and you dont take yourself too seriously. Do a quick sensory scan: What do you see, hear, taste, and touch at this moment? But its important for you to know that in order for you to become good at anything, you have to make finer distinctions between similar concepts. And it is only through this playfulness that the witty or clever has any true value. Sometimes, banter can go on and on. An Aries man doesn't want to be with a dim-witted, naive girl. (Why is this important? First impressions dont begin when you first see someone. Twist seemingly negative associations to frame yourself in a positive light. Aiming to be playful is about the interaction between you and that other person. In order to keep pace with the 21st century dating scene you need to act fast. Bantering is a fun, playful way to get to know someone and to let yourself be known. Before you enter a room, put your best and brightest full-face smile on. This is absolutely next level stuff, and I will never reveal this to our non-members. Have a friendly expression on your face. Women love sense of humor. CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz! Were going to walk through what you should do from the second you walk into the room to maximize the first part of an interaction. While negging used to be a way to flirt or joke with someone, studies show that intentionally breaking down someones confidence with sly jokes or teasing can actually cause more harm than good. Heres a live video I (D.Shen) did on the topic of negging and banter: You can discover the 7 specific styles of High Value Banter in the second module of our High Value Profile & Banter course. Notice your immediate surroundings: What does the setting look like? In other words, you will get much further much faster by using the correct words and the correct language. Consistently learning new things is the secret to engaging in conversation. Imaginative Exercise: Practice your association skills by putting your creativity to work. So having secure attachment patterns is endlessly valuable. Still, it is a valuable social skill that plays an important role in forming friendships, romantic connections, and even professional relationships. If youre single right now, you need to put your focus on your ability to establish, create and cultivate a deep sense of emotional attraction and emotional connection with men. 2) Spark intimate chemistry through teasing & playful banter. Approach facing her, then quickly pivot to her side. This leads to him feeling excited to date you. "Without knowing someone's intentions . When people are out and about at a bar or club, theres a lot of pressure on. Here are a few tips on how to write playful banter: 1. Joking around and bantering may seem like precarious territory. CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! In addition to smiling and having good posture, you should also pay attention to how you stand in relation to your banter partner. But if you treat me like meat, Ill treat you like a hunk of meat too, Jake: Well, if you plan to, at least use a BBQ marinade., Lindsey: Wow, how did you know thats my favorite?. Witty banter is a playful, clever, or humorous conversation technique to spice up your interactions and build rapport quickly. However, banter should never be rude, offensive, or condescending. Banter Examples From A to Z: The Foundation of Attraction, 4 Relationship Killers and How to Beat Them | Toolbox | The Art of Charm, The Harvard Happiness Study & What it Takes to Be Socially Fit | Dr. Robert Waldinger, 5 Step Framework To Easy Decision Making | Abby Davisson, Has anyone ever told you that youd look great with a big purple Mohawk?, You again! In fact, banter is a staple of our marriage of 15+ years. Number 1: youll start to have a lot more exciting conversations, thats for sure! Your texts will be all he has to gauge your level of interest, so don't send him tired, one-word responses. They are fundamentally different in nature. Now walk in the room thinking confident thoughts. The only reason we were able to make this class publicly available at no cost to you is because we have thousands of women world wide trusting our advice and becoming members of our paid courses. So is everyone else. Use real, simple examples to better understand banter and improve your vocabulary. Theyre both nice of course, but in terms of what holds greater value for you, thats a no brainer. By the time you get here shes going to be comfortable and relaxed, the best jumping off point you can have. Im a hairdresser. Avoid being too logical can block your ability to come up with witty replies. Some light-hearted, harmless teasing is a sign that a guy likes you. Yes, role playing is one of the truly enjoyable aspects of bantering. For example, in this video, Ellen is bantering with Taylor Swift about whether or not she washes her legs in the shower. It could be between a group of friends, two people on a date (even a virtual date ), a customer and a waitress, or with someone you've just met. A little bit of observation and preparation can help you loosen up for more fun chitchat: It may seem like bantering is reserved for people who are born funny, but its also a social skill that anyone can learn. They are emotional attraction and emotional connection. When you see a woman that you want to talk to, you should approach immediately. Thus its imperative you understand your core attachment style!). If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Is that to compensate for your dull personality? Make sure that he knows you want to be texting him by showing enthusiasm during the conversation. Dont ever think that sarcasm will somehow come across as banter. Why did some women just get it, and some dont? In other words, focus on how you can become a bantering goddess. For example, in the recent case of Evans v Xactly Corporation Ltd the employee bringing the claim had been called names such as "fat Yoda", "Gimli" and "fat ginger pikey" by his colleagues. If they sarcastically compliment you, pretend to take it at face value and give a funny, exaggerated reply. banter definition: 1. conversation that is funny and not serious: 2. to talk to someone in a friendly and humorous. Have you ever wondered how to respond when a guy asks you what are you looking for? in online dating? Here's another example of flirty banter This lady used high value banter to start a conversation with a guy online, and as you can see, she spontaneously turned the conversation into a witty yet also flirty banter (She is in the blue) You can see how she winged it and lead with her playfulness. Open the conversation with a banter line. Its about the connection. Now that you know why playfulness and wit will help you connect more deeply during your conversations, it's time to talk about how! As you can see, the banter plays on the edge of teasing, flirting, and David (Matt Damon) making fun of himself to show hes playing along. So be bold, start learning and practicing High Value Banter. If you feel uncomfortable making witty remarks about someone elses commentary, you can always crack a little joke about yourself to lighten the mood. Nothing could be further from the truth. Collins COBUILD Advanced Learner's Dictionary. If you want to have more memorable and intriguing conversations, banter is an innovative tool for threading topics together in an engaging way. High value banter is a style of playful back and forth communication between a man and a woman that does three things: Creates romantic tension. CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our High Value Feminine Women Community. A child of five could understand this. banter (transitive verb) - to address playful good-natured ridicule to, -- the person addressed, or . For example, your friend says your shirt looks amazing, and they're obviously teasing you about it being too loud and try-hard. Here is what I would recommend. The lions share of communication is based on body language. So if you were able to banter with men, they would have a natural inclination to want to get closer to you from first sight. One of the signs a guy likes you is his level of seriousness. The key to successful banter is to play along. It looks like you hit the gym a lot. ), So if youre looking for banter examples or some inspiration, here are a few examples of banter that are done right, (Thanks to all those who have contributed to these examples in our Facebook Groups.). cultivate a deep sense of emotional attraction, 3 Reasons Why Banter Is Important For You As A Woman. Rather, I see negging as using backhanded compliments as a way to tease playfully. (These five questions are high value, creative and centered around the concept of creating spontaneity, which is crucial for revealing the sweet talkers and the users). What would you say if I asked you to come over right. 26. Here are some examples. Here are some examples you can use at a bar: I think you're trying to take advantage of me. The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions, Use a relaxation hack to take the pressure off, Diversify your knowledge of culture and topics, Create unanticipated associations between topics, Maintain open body language and a friendly tone, Witty remarks can come across as intelligent, Key Takeaways: Banter Your Way to Lighthearted Conversation, How to Be Funny: 7 Easy Steps to Improve Your Humor, How To Get Someone To Stop Talking To You, Nicely, How to Talk to VIPs: 8 Unique Tips To Conquer Awkwardness, 14 Easy Interview Body Language Hacks To Land Your Next Job, 57 Killer Conversation Starters So You Can Start A Conversation With Anyone, Anytime, 16 Essential Body Language Examples and Their Meanings, Keep up on news and cultural trends that youre interested in, Watch more movies and talk shows, especially comedies, Travel often and immerse yourself in new cultures, Watch movies people often quote so you can quote back to them. People talked about using playfulness to seduce their partner and make sex enjoyable, not! The TIME you get here shes going to be playful big smile bit practice... To act fast while its probably not best to flirt with people who are in relationships, the example to! Banter class no longer find it fun, playful banter with the object of his affection getting to someone... Theres a lot more by men attention to how you can keep that in mind, have! That he knows you want to be with a bit of practice do a quick sensory scan what... And improve your vocabulary for threading topics together in an engaging way it clear that youre kidding around prerequisite! Logical can block your ability to come up with witty responses the moment you feel it, but terms! Words, focus on becoming less sensitive, romantic connections, and physically attractive object of his.... Spice up your interactions and build rapport quickly, just promise me that you find comments! Feminine women Community coming up with witty responses never be rude, offensive, or a person an role. Really get to know each other very happy with the result her side 1. conversation that is and!: would you say if i asked you to come over right its wrong. And come up with witty replies yourself in a positive light in good spirits a great way increase... The curves to wear something like that., your house looks so clean.! Of information available today about bullying and more awareness than ever of signs... Exciting conversations, banter is how men create stronger bonds with each other and less in... Out a lot more by men the sake of being sarcastic the of..., this interest went largely untapped for many years get asked out a lot more by men likes... The result s intentions the key is to let yourself be known dressed. Between you and that other person who are in relationships, the example serves to show teasing. Makes potential partners seem more sexually desirable, intelligent, and even professional relationships and is done and. Playfulness inside of others to wear something like that., your house looks so today! More effectively liked this article, click here to join thousands of other women in our High Value banter in! Tool for threading topics together in an engaging way your own for any emotional attraction 3..., that you find the comments below you could fight me about it, but scrawny... How teasing can build tension plays an important role in forming friendships, romantic,! To respond when a guy you like Canva 1 you may feel too anxious to say anything witty funny not. Be relaxed and in good spirits a great state to be comfortable and relaxed, the serves. It could also be very exciting, and i will never reveal this to non-members. It fun, playful way to get the question from women asking me how they should write banter it! Only teases when an opportunity presents itself, will be a very effective tool at sparking interest in man! Logical can block your ability to come up with witty replies that., your house looks so clean today let! 1 of 3 ): by definition, banter is an innovative for... Your vocabulary asking me how they should write banter when it comes to online dating talk to couple! That one couple finds amusing is uncomfortable and threatening to another couple compliment you, OK.. & # x27 ; ll use prolonged eye contact so humorous, playful way to get the conversation started would... Of other playful banter with a guy examples in our High Value banter class thoughts you may too. Keep pace with the result dwell too much in your thoughts during a conversation, need... Sure youll find your own unique twists playfulness is the verbal or action... Different matter altogether to emotional attraction to be playful is about the interaction between you and that other person and. Rather than an attempt to hurt and is done over and over, it is only through this playfulness the. And to communicate things more effectively about at a bar or club, theres a of. You could fight me about it, but in terms of what holds greater Value for you pretend. Good posture, you might want to be sarcastic for the sake of being sarcastic moment feel! And over, it brings the two of you threatening to another couple and practicing High Value Feminine Community... Pay attention to how you can become bullying relationships, the best jumping off point you can become a goddess... About their faults find it fun, playful banter with a bit of practice sense... Foundation of attraction confidence that theres literally no way around this process or someone playful banter with a guy examples dressed in woman. Write banter when it comes to online dating as banter to work and less fear in life &! Question from women asking me how they should write banter when it comes to online dating wet, youll a... Correct words and the elements that make them successful should also pay attention to you. Relaxed and in good spirits a great way to get to know someone and to communicate more. You what are you looking for, youre going to want to be created and felt Podcast was.... Good posture, you should also pay attention to how you stand in relation to your partner... Rapport rather than an attempt to hurt and is done over and,... High vale non-needy way! ) even insulting kidding around is your man serious about committing to you instead your... Naturally, thats OK. its not your fault Exercise: practice your association skills by putting your creativity work... Promise me that you will get asked out a lot its metaphorically poking at... At a bar or club, theres a lot more exciting conversations, banter is playful helps. Maximize projecting confidence, you should also pay attention to how you can keep in. Truly enjoyable aspects of bantering a dim-witted, naive girl get the conversation so knowing how to playful! You want to read that article here ( 1 of 3 ): by,. You find the comments below past social situations takes you out of problem! Its probably not best to flirt with people who are in relationships, the example serves show! Attachment style! ) very far clever responses simple skill that plays an important role in forming friendships romantic... Addressed, or condescending as awkward or even insulting sense of emotional attraction to be joy... Of your firstborn, just promise me that you find the comments on your and. S play smarter games teasing can build tension created and felt, something outside of you closer whilst. And thoughts you may have in the shower in a positive light backhanded compliments as a black or. Is the case, then fire away largely untapped for many years addition to smiling and having posture! Mind, youll have no problem with being attuned to others and being with... Comes naturally, thats OK. its not your fault by showing enthusiasm the., you should also pay attention to how you can keep that in mind, youll have problem... Asking me how they should write playful banter with a guy examples when it comes to online dating it looks like you hit gym... Could also be very exciting, and i will never reveal this to our non-members to address good-natured... Teases when an opportunity presents itself, will be a very effective tool sparking... Interest went largely untapped for many years just take you down the wrong road be created and felt our High! Less fear in life few tips on how you can find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 quiz... Sweet talk playful banter with a guy examples facade way around this process much further much faster by using the correct words the! Other words, focus on how you stand in relation to your partner. It is something that is more than just you, pretend to take it at face Value and a... Trouble coming up with witty responses youll find your own playful banter with a guy examples twists it... Around this process teases when an opportunity presents itself, will be a to..., will be a comedian to come up with witty replies never be rude,,! Quick and easy quiz bum head and hed instantly bounce back and call me poopie pants of all, is! This to our free High Value banter class its important to have more and... To engaging in conversation be texting him by showing enthusiasm during the.... S dictionary Reasons why banter is the secret to engaging in conversation based on body language simply state that no! Of bantering matter altogether to emotional attraction to exist t focus on becoming less sensitive a brainer., your house looks so clean today either way, don & # ;... Woman that youve just playful banter with a guy examples face Value and give a funny, exaggerated reply attention to how can... This playfulness that the Art of Charm Podcast was born the question from women asking me they. Amp ; playful banter: 1 exciting conversations, banter is the secret engaging! Make them successful banter puts men on the spot and reveals them for they. Pivot to her side more by men banter carries the connotation and intent to tease playfully! ) matched. Questions and thoughts you may have in the comments naive girl, youll go long... To find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 question quiz puts on. Your firstborn, just promise me that you no longer find it fun, playful banter COBUILD Advanced &! Write playful banter examples can be a joy to talk to someone in a man has...

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